April 13, 2011

We put the easy in The Big Easy

I drove to Atlanta last night for the first leg of our jaunt to New Orleans.

This small-ish town girl is not used to super speedy Atlanta traffic. There was a line of 18 wheelers blocking the signs & people zipping past me. And I was doing 70, mind you.

I just kept telling myself, "THIS IS AN ADVENTURE! I AM HAVING FUN! I AM LEARNING!"

And then I was all like, "WTF IS A HOV LANE?!"

And "Dammit, that gigantic Coca Cola sign is burning my eyeballs out of my face!"

And "Oooo. There's a fancy Range Rover with all black everythang! I wonder if that's Jay-Z!"

And "I need a cigarette to stay awake & alert so I don't accidentally crash into Ikea!"

And then "SHIT! If I throw the butt out the window, that's considered littering & those signs say it's a $1200 fine!"

Which lead to extinguishing the butt in the surplus of mayo from the McChicken I didn't finish earlier.

I arrived at Anissa's & discovered she had turned into a glo worm. A very sunburnt, pink glo worm. She threatened to punch me in the vadge if I hugged her so I just honked her nipple.

I woke up this morning around 7 am to her daughter, Rachael's smiling face. Which quickly turned into her poking me in the tummy & telling me that I had a squishy body.

And then Peyton came in the room, jumped on me, snuggled for awhile & started with the whole, "Stop hitting yourself" gig. Which naturally lead to her asking me "When does the world end?"

Nathaniel just walked in the room & all he said was "I blame you."

Oh, the joys of the Mayhew household.

So, we're off! I'll be live tweeting Mom 2.0 & all of Anissa's bowel movements.

This is quality internet, y'all.



Avitable said...

I'm sad that I'm not going to be there this weekend. Give Anissa's nipple another tweak for me, and throw one your way, too.

The Mayor said...

Sounds like a perfect kind of road trip, vagabonding along the way.
Way to go.We'll be waiting for all the down and dirty details.

HISdaughter said...

I really enjoy reading your blog.
I laugh out loud, (for real, not the "LOL" but you're really just chuckling BS)Thanks for brightening my dreary work days :)


Related Posts with Thumbnails