I drove to Atlanta last night for the first leg of our jaunt to New Orleans.
This small-ish town girl is not used to super speedy Atlanta traffic. There was a line of 18 wheelers blocking the signs & people zipping past me. And I was doing 70, mind you.
I just kept telling myself, "THIS IS AN ADVENTURE! I AM HAVING FUN! I AM LEARNING!"
And then I was all like, "WTF IS A HOV LANE?!"
And "Dammit, that gigantic Coca Cola sign is burning my eyeballs out of my face!"
And "Oooo. There's a fancy Range Rover with all black everythang! I wonder if that's Jay-Z!"
And "I need a cigarette to stay awake & alert so I don't accidentally crash into Ikea!"
And then "SHIT! If I throw the butt out the window, that's considered littering & those signs say it's a $1200 fine!"
Which lead to extinguishing the butt in the surplus of mayo from the McChicken I didn't finish earlier.
I arrived at Anissa's & discovered she had turned into a glo worm. A very sunburnt, pink glo worm. She threatened to punch me in the vadge if I hugged her so I just honked her nipple.
I woke up this morning around 7 am to her daughter, Rachael's smiling face. Which quickly turned into her poking me in the tummy & telling me that I had a squishy body.
And then Peyton came in the room, jumped on me, snuggled for awhile & started with the whole, "Stop hitting yourself" gig. Which naturally lead to her asking me "When does the world end?"
Nathaniel just walked in the room & all he said was "I blame you."
Oh, the joys of the Mayhew household.
So, we're off! I'll be live tweeting Mom 2.0 & all of Anissa's bowel movements.
This is quality internet, y'all.