If we were in the same room together, I would run towards you like a fool & give you a big phatty hug like I hadn't seen you in 17 years. Unless you hate hugs, then pretend we just hi-five & smile.
If this was a face to face encounter, we would look each other in the eye & I would try not to break out into a full-fledged ugly cry.
I'm in that place. You know the one. The place where you are overwhelmed & just can't NOT be transparent.
(enter big sigh right here).
I haven't posted in awhile. I don't know if you've noticed or not. I missed it.
I have been really busy dealing with everyday life. (I bet you expected me to say that). I wake up in the morning & take care of whatever is staring me in the face the hardest. Working from home is a blessing & a curse. On one hand, I get to kiss Ruby all day & not wear a bra. On the other, I'm constantly struggling to juggle all my roles with a child pointing to my shirt yelling, "boobie!" Then my ADD comes into play & I find myself fighting to focus. And then I just get frustrated & give up.
But mostly, my mind has been swimming. It was hard to sit down & make myself trudge through this post.
I haven't wanted to just throw something up in this space just because. I feel like I have to get this out before I can move on. (See? Blogging is therapeutic. You should try it).
I'm excited as hell, actually. And I'm also scared as shit. Which usually means something good is brewing.
I felt that way when I met Zack- elated that I was falling in love & fearful that I was going to fail at it. But I kept going & exploring & trusting my gut & of course, it has all been worth it. Even through all the tough parts.
I also feel that way about a good poop.
It's time to identify my vision & my mission. Which is to create & inspire. That's what really melts my butter.
When I allow myself to just BE myself, the happier I am with what I make.
And yes, it is hilarious to me that what I make involves cards that include the words dry humping & diarrhea. It's also no surprise to my friends & family that I'm talking about nipple hair on the internet.
I've spent a lot of time thinking about my direction & I've found out what fuels me: brazen humor, bold color, handwriting, love & courage.
That looks so elementary & simple to type out but it's not intended to be complicated or entirely thought provoking.
When I stare at a blank card or canvas or computer screen, I imagine how it will make you feel when you see it. It's feel good art in different forms. The meaning is not hidden.
It's art that's meant to feel like sunshine for your soul.
Good LORD, I'm so deep right now. I'm like Gandhi or some other person who thinks about deep shit.
It's exhausting having to be SO think-y.
I have a difficult time following through with ideas. So when I declared that I was going balls to the wall last year, I meant it. I have really been trying to figure out my place. I'm happy to say that it's freaking working, y'all. Really super happy about it. It helps to establish a purpose when you need clarity.
I continue to be motivated by my desire to bring a little bit of happiness & love & laughter & warm fuzzy shit like that into your life. Also because it would be SO FANTASTIC if I could actually support my family by doing that. And to be able to have a car that started every time. And I would absolutely love it if my husband didn't have to work so hard. 60 hours a week is tough on everybody. I'm so thankful for his work ethic & his support (& his cuteness). That Zack Plemmons is a good dude. He's a handful (to say the least) but I adore the crap out of him.
So, what's next? Change. Lots of it.
- Rebranding. I'm nixing the name lemons with a pea. I need to simplify.
- More cards! Only I'm going to stop making each one by hand. Yes, I know. It is a lot of work. It's been the most cost-efficient way so far but it got crazy there around Valentine's Day. (Did you see that Etsy featured my panty card on their facebook page & I got a butt load of traffic? I found out right before I boarded a plane to Blissdom. I may or may not have giggled & squeed like an idiot in the Asheville airport. I even got a couple hater comments! How awesome is that?) Getting that many designs printed in bulk is not in our budget so I'm figuring out the most efficient way to print them myself. It helps to have a brand new HP printer (much thanks to Aiming Low).
- I'm also going to raise my prices on my original paintings & start making prints of them. I need to spend more time creating new pieces & not reproducing the same ones over & over. Although I like it, it's not helping me be productive with new work.
- I'm going bigger. I want to start a series of Big Ass Art. Which would consist of big wording & objects on large pieces of salvaged wood. They'll be in your face & making a statement everyday. I can't wait to start. I want to scrap it all & go sling paint right now.
- Graphic design. I need to learn it like, yesterday. I'd love to be able to upload my designs & tweak them digitally. Do you remember when I was being all vague about "exciting stuff happening?" Well, I hadn't said anything online but thanks to meeting sweet Jessica at TypeAMom, I was contacted by Tiny Prints (!!!) last December. They wanted to work with me on some Valentine's Day cards for them. I was way psyched. Long story short, they thought I was schooled in graphic design. And I'm not. The design team I talked to in depth said they would keep me in mind for future projects. I hope they do. At least I'm not scared of talking to big companies now.
- I got promoted at Aiming Low! I'm now an editor. Don't worry, it doesn't involve grammar. Basically, I help come up with ideas & handle more social media. I feel super lucky to be a part of this group. LOVE IT.
- A brand spankin' new website! It's SO time for an upgrade. Luckily, I have someone awesome & generous who sees my vision & wants to help me do just that. It's gonna be so fresh & so fly. It will also include a whole new section featuring people who are going balls to the wall with their lives AND one for those who have an idea but need encouragement and advice. That's where YOU come in. Do you fit into one of those categories? Start thinking if that's something you'd like to take part in. I want to be using social media for social good. I think it has the potential to blow our panties off.
- I'm no longer a hair dye virgin! Verve magazine gave me a makeover! It was hella fun & I felt fabulous until I got in front of a camera- then I just felt awkward. You can read the article here. Look forward to a behind the scenes post, complete with pictures of me looking like complete shit.
Here's the official "after" shot. It's not sucky! Yay!
(photo by Matt Rose)
If you read this whole thing, I thank you from the bottom of my hard ass.
I'm back on the blogging wagon & am ready to ride, baby.