March 22, 2011

From Shitty to Chic. (behind the scenes of my makeover).

Sometimes if you're lucky & if you look shitty enough, people will make you over. I highly recommend it. Makeovers are fun. I've never had one before. Unless you count the Glamour Shots session I had when I was 14.  And that wasn't an improvement. They just made me look like a tweeny hooker in leather & braces. 

The editor of Verve magazine, Jess McCuan shot me an email one day asking if she could spice me up & I was all like, "Oh, hell yes. Bring it on. Spice me, baby." 
This is me looking unspiced, pale & greasy as hell in XL format so you can see that I don't pluck my eyebrows.

My dear friend Sarah Becker normally cuts my hair (it's not usually this stupid looking) so we went to Studio Chavvarria so she could make me look fancier & awesomer than normal. She's a an expert on fancy & awesome hair.
Up until this day, I was a hair dye virgin. Don't worry, she was gentle & I'm not scarred for life.
That's editor extraordinaire Jess on the left & Moriah Luzius on the right. Instead of asking them to say "cheese!" I told them to say "I love my vagina!" That's why they look so excited.

Sarah & Moriah are opening up their own salon in West Asheville called Bari Salon. It's gonna be supah dupah fly. Get excited, Asheville people! 

Here they are looking gorgeous, sweet & whorish fun. 

Amber Hatchett stopped by to drop off some beautiful, custom gold earrings for the shoot! Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of them on me but you should know that she just uploaded new designs of her upcycled, vintage jewelry to her Etsy shop! Go look before they're gone! You can't get originality & that kind of craftsmanship at Target. Just sayin'. 

After my hair got all fancy & shit, we hopped on over to Makeup at the Grove Arcade where the gorgeous Mendy Hoffman & I hit it off so well that we went out back to make out. 
Just kidding! That didn't happen. But we did laugh at lots of inappropriate things. I think it helped break the ice when I handed out complimentary "Shit, bitch. You is fine" cards. This girl is a badass with mascara & lipstick. She made me look refreshed & glittery instead of homely & boring. Go let her touch your face if you want to enhance your sensuality by a shit ton. That dashing gentleman in the background is Zack Russell. He's also a fantastic makeup artist & can transform your face with just a simple flick of his blush brush. True story.
This is Asheville's beloved Franzi & Kip. Franzi was talking to a customer & not looking at the rude photographer (me). They own Hip Replacements (where we scored that amazing outfit) & they also run the Asheville Grown Business Alliance. They are delightful, energetic, sexy, compassionate people with a penchant for eclectic & vintage threads. This was the only place where Jess & I shopped. 
We found just the thing amongst hipster Jesus & his llama. 
These are the shoes from Hip Replacements that I wore. Aren't they freaking killer? 

With a 1 inch platform & 5 & a half inch heel, they literally almost killed me. During the shoot, I stood on a concrete pedestal outside the Grove Arcade. It was so hard to keep my balance, mainly because it was windy AND I'm top heavy. I had to do that thing where you wave your arms around really fast to stabilize my body & keep from plummeting face first onto the unforgiving concrete down below. I almost pooped and peed myself right then & there. I'm not even exaggerating. I bet I would've made the g-dang cover if that had happened. It's such a compelling story. 
Ready for my close up.
Ta da! See the feather extension in my hair? At first I thought it was too Bratz doll-ish but now I'm rocking that sucker all over town. I love it. 
Photo shoots are awkward, man. Modeling was all new territory for me. Luckily, Jess & Matt Rose were great & made it easy to act like a fool. I'm scared to see the out takes. 

BIG, HUGE thanks goes to Verve, Jess McCuan, Matt Rose, Sarah Becker, Moriah Luzius, Amber Hatchett, Franzi Charen, Kip Veno & Mendy Hoffman. Proof that it takes a village to get good lookin'. 

*please forgive the inconsistent format & font size. Blogger was being a beeyatch. 


Penbleth said...

You look fabulous.

Candice said...

Gorgeous stuff!!! Love the boob shot, too!! What a rack!!! :) Love it!!!!

LiBBy said...

Your'e a Goddess ! Your last name is now DiMilo .

Nichole said...

You ought to wear that lipstick every single day. Gorgeous.

Michelle said...

So much fun... I'm gonna stop wearing makeup and start wearing (greasy, old) sweatpants everywhere I go.
Me next!

Amber said...

Hot Stuff!

The Bearded Iris said...

"I love my vagina!"

So refreshing to meet another southern gal who doesn't refer to her lady junk as "down there."

You look MAH-velous, by the way. That skirt is DIVINE. Every time I leave home I'm half expecting (& hoping for) a van to pull up and cart me away for an ambush makeover. You are one lucky biotch!!!

RNW said...

A makeover sounds like a lot of fun, there's just no way I could maintain that on a daily basis. I have to look somewhat presentable when I go to work everyday which means showering AND putting on a bra. What do these people WANT from me?? My boss is one of those late-70s/early-80s-fashionista kinda gals who really likes her hot rollers and pantyhose. And long red fingernails. Wicked hawt. She tells us "Girls [oh yes, she calls us "girls"], if I had my way you'd all be wearing hose." Oh jeezus. If she had her way, we'd all vote Republican too and have prayer-a-day calendars on our desks.


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