Everyone stop what you're doing. I have an important-ish announcement to make.

You know when a dog gets so excited about seeing their owner & they run around in circles & pant so hard slobber flies all over the damn place & they bark their furry face off & then leave a pee stream everywhere? 

That's how I feel about being one of the new writers for Aiming Low. 

Which if you didn't know by now, has a legacy of being perhaps the bestest & most awesomest group-blog on the interwebs. I've been a big fan of these women for awhile now & when I got the email from Anissa asking if I'd like to be a part of the new writing staff, I might have squealed like a baby pig. 

(Dang, I'm referencing a lot of maniacal animals).

So, prepare your sexy bodies for shock & awe as you peruse this life-changing, belly-laughter-inducing site. Today's fine featured posts include:

1) Shaving a toilet seat (yes, you read that right- I did just type shaving a toilet seat). Thanks for that, Schmutzie. 

2) A semi-cosmic horoscope from the incomparable & lovable Deb Rox that literally made me laugh so hard I woke Ruby up. Here's an excerpt:

      "... at the start of each month I’m going to throw down a low-balled interpretation of what the planetary zeitgeist might mean to you based on the work of real live astrologers. Is astrology for real?  I don’t know.  It was good enough for the Greeks, and they had awesome taste–just look at the Parthenon and the amazing work they’ve done with olives and naked statues."

3) A brief introduction of all the writers by the head ho-bag herself, Anissa Mayhew- who, in my book, can pretty much rule the free world after all she's been through. Like, you know, her darling daughter having cancer, experiencing not one but 2 strokes & being in a coma (& now a wheelchair). Nothing could stop this powerhouse from telling twitter about being naked & showering with only one usable hand. Please, for the love, do not tell her she is inspirational because she might "punch a baby." (She's not serious. She really likes babies in general. I think). 

My advice, for what it's worth, is to grab a cocktail or two (unless your goal is to remain respectfully sober much like one of my favorite beautiful, balls to the wall bloggers- CecilyK)- then indulge yourself in the awesomeness that is Aiming Low. Get excited about a blog solely devoted to embracing your imperfectly perfect self. Oh, and you might want to consider wearing a diaper (or even reading it on the toilet with your sweatpants around your ankles) just in case your mommy bladder is shot all to hell. 

*This surge of optimism & unbridled energy is brought to you by my unofficial sponsor, Vyvanse.
  Vyvanse & my brain- it's a match made in ADD heaven.