So, it's official. I have ADD. Duh. I went to a psychologist to get tested & lo & behold, all of the data pointed straight to this "disability."
I've always thought I might have it after being consciously aware of my behavior in adulthood & after considering my tendencies as a kid.
I was never a good student.
I am super disorganized.
I procrastinate like a mofo & am never on time.
I forget things all. the. time. Like important things.
I feel scatterbrained & flighty a lot.
I have a hard time finishing things. I go from one thing to the next. I'm chronically distracted.
Dr.P (the friendly psychologist) assured me I wasn't a dumbass (not her words). I took an IQ test that confirmed it. So that's good. I'll admit, I was a little worried.
She also said I had issues with anxiety but I'm thinking that the ADD is what's causing the anxiety in the 1st place. So hopefully that will take care of itself.
It feels like my brain & thoughts are filled with confetti & I want to look at every little colorful piece floating all around me. That's what it feels like.
this isn't me as a child but I definitely had big ass bangs like that.
It's actually really frustrating. Even when I make list after list after list to try & stay on task, I can't ever do it- at least not quickly or efficiently. That has what made me feel like I am a dumbass- like I haven't had the willpower or brainpower to stay on top of things when in reality, it's my brain's inability to manage information.
I am hopeful that this medication I have been given (hello Vyvanse!) will help me to focus. I am hopeful that I will be able to think more clearly, to accomplish my goals for the day & for my freakin' life, yo. I have a lot of things I want to do & am feeling that this is the time to really go balls to the wall with my brain.
This is the part where I take care of myself. I'm no longer short sighted. I'm actually thinking a lot about my future instead of taking it day by day & just letting things fall into my lap.
Maybe this will be a magic pill, maybe it won't- but at least I'm trying right? That's the least I can do. I just took my very 1st one about an hour ago & so far so good. I'm going to be live tweeting my experience with it today so get excited about that if you're a tweeter.
My magic pill didn't come with a magic wand. I'm a little pissed.
Have you been here where I am? Do you have any advice, tips or words of encouragement?! If you do, I'd love to hear em. Thanks y'all for even reading this & possibly caring about it. I really do appreciate it. I swear I personally know the best people on the planet. xoxo