June 29, 2010

If you catch the Bieber fever, you might need a Zpack. Just sayin'.

Ok, so I must admit, I'm unenlightened with all things Bieber. I mean, I could pick his baby face out of a 
crowd & I could tell you that there is a whole website devoted to lesbians that look like him 
(amazing!) 
but I could not for the life of me tell you the name of any song of his.
Not that I'm embarrassed by this. I'm not. I just wanted to find out what all the hype was.
(and I'm desperate to fit in at Hollister.)
So I turned to my trusty source of moving picture information. The YouTubes.
this is what I found:
I'll say, it is pretty catchy. I'm not gonna lie. I totally couch danced. So did Ruby.
There's even a fierce dance off in a bowling alley! I wonder if he was inspired by the infamous
Britney-Justin dance off?! Oh wait, that was 2002. He wasn't born yet. Or was he?
Whatevs. I'm not about to do math this early. Or ever.
Zack was in the kitchen when I was playing the video & overheard.
This is what he said-
Zack: "What the hell is that?"
Me: "Um, music?"
Zack: "No it's not."
Me: "Dude. It's all the rage."
Zack: "Well who is it?"
Me: "Guess."
Zack: "I don't know. Rihanna?"
Me: "Bahaha! Honey, it's a guy."
Zack: "Ohhh. Then it must be that dumb ass Justin Bieber. He sounds like a little bitch. Have his balls
dropped yet?"
I mean, I guess he's cute for a scrawny, prepubescent, cocky little shit.
Consider the source though. Here's his douche dad-
I can hear him now... "This is what it's all about Justin. Walking around Six Flags in our finest jorts, showing off my belly tat. I'm straight pimpin' in this purple fuzzy hat, aren't I? Yo, let's go scam on that hottie Trish over at the funnel cake stand. Don't tell your mom."
"Keep your chin up, little buddy. One day, if you're lucky enough to grow up to be as fine as me, you'll be behind bullet proof glass & have millions of delusional tweens in training bras fainting & trampling over each other to get to you. Hey, I bet we could even get some mad cash for one of your turds. Actually, let's do that. Papa needs a new yellow Hummer."

4 comments:

Leslie Ruth Petree said...

And now I want to go download that freaking song off iTunes.

Apart from the douchebag dad, he is pretty cute. But I'm dying for the day some crazed fan busts through the bodyguards and takes a razor to that freakish shag he's got going.

Beth and Chris Maslin said...

did you know his mom was approached by playboy to pose nude. kid comes from a long line of winners.

Becky Swann said...

This just made my day!

Amber said...

I'm not gonna lie, I was interested too, which is why I watched an hour long E! special on him today. It made me feel a little better knowing I'm not the only one. Oh and by the way, I have to let you know that your posts crack me up on a daily basis:)

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