"Ok, so what I really want is a sweet meat tat right above my ass crack. I want a delicious ham hock with a smiley face & I want the ham hock to be a fairy with ham wings a magic meat wand & shit. And I want the ham hock to be saying "Meat!" in 3D with stars on it. And then, cause I like, really love all kinds of meat, I would like for you to permanently tattoo long sausage links & a couple chicken legs (original recipe) & a slab of beef on me. And to make it extra fancy, I need some blue rays shooting out from the center like a halo cause eating meat is like a religious experience for me. Then I'll wear my favorite maroon panties to match. Omg perfect."