April 20, 2010

OMG I'M A HOUSE.

ok, so I was just going looking at some old photos & I found this gem.
OMG I know! I was like, 9 months preggers. Ruby came out of my body 2 weeks later. I am straight up BUSTING out of those overalls. Which by the way, Leslie, I still need to give them back to you (minus the leukorrhea). Just kidding (sorta)!

 What is it with me showing the whole internet terrible awful pictures of myself? Next thing you know, I'll be following in Kathy Griffin's footsteps & bringing a camera crew with me next time I have a pap smear. This may or may not be the subject of my next therapy sesh. Stay tuned.

How balls to the wall is this though? I mean, I was waddling around with a small human pressing on my lady parts AND dancing like a monkey in an epileptic fit on a stage... in front of real people. Yes, I do have video footage but I have to find out how to transfer it from my now ancient video camera to YouTube. And then it will inevitably go viral & people all over the globe will point & laugh. But that's the goal, isn't it?

Please notice the thread hanging down where the shirtdress tore because of my largeness. Please also notice that Leslie Lamb Sloan looks gorge even in drag AND while she has streptococcus (which wins for the dirtiest inadvertent name of a throat ailment).

P.S. You still have 3 more hours until the drawing for the lemons with a pea card giveaway! Quick! Go here & leave a comment: www.facebook.com/lemonswithapea!

You could win one of these stunners!
This is exactly what got me into the above predicament. 

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