On my way to another verbal vomit fest counseling session yesterday, I was driving along talking to my mom (who gets mad at me every time I call her while I'm driving) & I kept noticing the craziest shit.
Like an old dude in a yellow corvette, wearing a yellow shirt & a yellow hat. I wonder if he had on yellow pants & yellow shoes & yellow socks & a yellow banana hammock. I also wondered if he's one of those people that happened to mention that they like something & then people go INSANE with the theme-y gifts. Like when I kind of said I liked Winnie the Pooh in middle school & for the next DECADE I was inundated with Winnie the Pooh shit.
I also saw a hand just like this hanging out of a car window & it scared the dookie out of me. No one should have nails like this. I mean, how on earth do you wipe the doodoo off of your butthole with these things? And let's be honest, these are claws. What, do you need them to snatch up chipmunks for dinner? This is not cute nor is it sanitary.
I also saw a blue truck on Merrimon Ave with "The Dirty Hoe" plastered on the side of it. Turns out it's a landscaping & gardening company here in town. I would hire them based on their name alone because that's good reasoning, right? Generally speaking, people who are punny are typically good with bushes & shrubs & shit. They are also artists & seem to be a good time. After all, they are dirty hoes.
There was also a large older black man smoking a Black & Mild that walked in front of my car as I was trying to pull out of the Bojangle's drive thru (for one of their huge ass tubs of sweet tea- don't hate on me) & I SWEAR I thought he was singing "I Touch Myself" Kinda creepy. Kinda awesome.
(this is not the same man)
Of course, these observations just reinforce my love for this town.
& of course, the people:
i blurred out their privates except for the white ass. I thought you would enjoy seeing some white male ass with tube socks & sneakers. That's always a good look.
This pic is from the annual World Naked Bike Ride. A definite must-see (if you like flopping body parts, which I DO). Perfect family outing! Bring your kids AND your parents!!!!!!!