February 11, 2010

Fash-shun. Get it?!

Ok, I'll admit it, I'm a magazine junkie. I love em. If I could subscribe to all of them, I would. I want to roll em up & smoke em. Ok, maybe I'd skip Highlights & Hustler. Although I'm sure they are high quality reads filled with hidden puzzles & crotch shots galore. Something we all need more of in our lives, right? 

I love the shiny covers & the bold graphics & the pretty shoes & the easy gourmet recipes (that I never make) & the home tours of the stars & the tales of travel to faraway places. Actually, I only subscribe to two- Real Simple & InStyle because I am also poor I mean cheap. Whichever. (I won't even talk about the tragic loss of domino & Cookie. The pain is too fresh).

So I was going through last's month's InStyle & came across Rachel Bilson's column called "your Look." Take a gander:

Ok, so I appreciate fashion & trends & all that shiz but some of these choices are not cute nor are they sensible. 

a few observations:
  • I'm pretty sure that "Bras as tops" & "sophisticated" is an oxymoron. This is a trend that I will not be participating in unless I have smoked too many magazines, become totally delusional & start thinking my stretch marks are "all the rage." Which may happen. You never know. Get excited about that!
  • And hotpants?! really? REALLY? I mean, I know we've been inundated with leotards & unitards in music videos & performances this past year (thanks Beyonce) but are young girls going to walk around thinking they look super attractive? The answer is obviously YES but I have news for you- everyone will be gawking at your ass. This is called negative attention. Seek a therapist immediately.
  • Psst, girl on the far right, Minnie Mouse called. She needs her pumps back. 
  • Apparently the space age/weird as hell look is the new black. Case in point- these heels. 
  • I hate ombre. I just do. 
  • Psst, Rachel Bilson, Bruce Springsteen called too. He wants his stone washed jean vest back. (ok, I think I've successfully run that joke into the ground). 
But really, what do I know? This is coming from a girl who wears black yoga pants, a hoodie, turquoise chuck taylors & my hair in a greasy ponytail every damn day- it's like my pathetic mommy uniform, that I love only for it's supreme comfort while I wrangle a toddler & wash Zack's undies. Can I get an amen?

And honestly I'm glad that people feel free to express themselves through their attire, otherwise this would be a dull, vapid, unimaginative world. And we would be bored & wouldn't buy their magazines. (Wait a second, am I drinking the Kool Aid)? - also, does the punctuation go inside the parentheses or outside? I ain't so good at punkchooashun or grahammer neither. 

So, write on, Rachel Bilson! (pun intended). Let's celebrate diversity! Even if it means looking like an 80's step aerobics instructor/robot hybrid on crack while exposing yo' white ass! Awesome! Go Fashion!

13 comments:

sara kate said...

i can't even believe that call that green scarf wrap a dress??? too bad i don't have the bod to sport that new trendy look!

Becky Swann said...

Just saw you posted your blog on Facebook, This is hilarious! I am with you 100%

Good Girl said...

I wear my bra as top every damn day of the week. In 24 degree weather! What of it?!

Anonymous said...

Jason had to just ask from the other room if I was OK (2nd time in 2 days). He thought I was crying because I was actually laughing so hard. Yesterday it was your video of the dog humping the old lady that got me! Ah.... write on, R1, write on (no pun intended). You make me so happy. :)

R2

robin said...

sk- whatevs. you could TOTALLY rock that green/wrap/scarf/mini get up!!

becky-thanks for being with me 100%. thanks the kind of support everybody needs. ;)

good girl- you're not a good girl if you are exposing your bewbs to the elements.

R2- listen, I need to see you! I'm sick of not seeing you! Call u soon, k? xoxo

John and Nicole said...

Robin. I am so conflicted in my fashion life.

Half the time I want to get rid of all my clothes and start over, filling my closet mostly with dresses that look like them came out of the fifties.

Then I also want to have that hippie chic bohemian thing happening like the girls in Abercrombie ads in fields with messy hair, torn jeans, and freckles, but workin' it all the same.

And then I want to just wear my old jeans that magically fit again and my college hoodie like the good 'ol days.

But maybe being me is being a little of all of 'em? But I so admire people that can make a fashion statement, and wished I didn't make such a confused one!


*love*
Nicole

Good Girl Gone Bad said...

How do you know that the elements are not exposing themselves to my boob-a-lines?! The elements should be honored to see them.

robin said...

Nicole- You definitely have the whole carefree, freckled wildflower in a field look down. I love it. You are beautiful.

Good Girl Gone Bad- what the hell are boob-a-lines?

Also, Becky- i meant *that's the kind of support. I shouldn't drink & type.

MJG said...

I read a lot of glossies myself, and Perez Hilton... everyone seems to LOVE Rachel Bilson for some reason, they think she's a fashion icon or some shiz like dat. So I guess we better listen.
As far as the parentheses go, please see rule 3:
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/parens.asp

robin said...

People should not listen to her if she's only going to encourage them to look like shit.

Thanks for the punctuation tip, mjg. Now if I can remember to use it correctly...

miss bethany said...

I TOTALLY love your blog! It's the first one I've ever looked at, and I'm gonna check it pretty much every day! Can't wait to do that cute little valentine card with John. and hot pants???!!! I fuckin' know right!? Bras as tops?! They're really just running out of ideas and reverting back to the 80s... AGAIN! But I really love the green wrap dress... does that say it's ONLY $2,980? It's a done deal. love, love, LOVE your blog!

miss bethany said...

oh, and, i can never remember where to put the punctuation with parentheses either... it might be that know one REALLY knows... you could just flip-flop from inside to out each time you use them just to fuck with people

robin said...

Welcome to the blog world, Bethany Siebert!!!!!!!! We welcome you with open arms & orifices!

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