Ok, I'll admit it, I'm a magazine junkie. I love em. If I could subscribe to all of them, I would. I want to roll em up & smoke em. Ok, maybe I'd skip Highlights & Hustler. Although I'm sure they are high quality reads filled with hidden puzzles & crotch shots galore. Something we all need more of in our lives, right?
I love the shiny covers & the bold graphics & the pretty shoes & the easy gourmet recipes (that I never make) & the home tours of the stars & the tales of travel to faraway places. Actually, I only subscribe to two- Real Simple & InStyle because I am also poor I mean cheap. Whichever. (I won't even talk about the tragic loss of domino & Cookie. The pain is too fresh).
So I was going through last's month's InStyle & came across Rachel Bilson's column called "your Look." Take a gander:
Ok, so I appreciate fashion & trends & all that shiz but some of these choices are not cute nor are they sensible.
a few observations:
- I'm pretty sure that "Bras as tops" & "sophisticated" is an oxymoron. This is a trend that I will not be participating in unless I have smoked too many magazines, become totally delusional & start thinking my stretch marks are "all the rage." Which may happen. You never know. Get excited about that!
- And hotpants?! really? REALLY? I mean, I know we've been inundated with leotards & unitards in music videos & performances this past year (thanks Beyonce) but are young girls going to walk around thinking they look super attractive? The answer is obviously YES but I have news for you- everyone will be gawking at your ass. This is called negative attention. Seek a therapist immediately.
- Psst, girl on the far right, Minnie Mouse called. She needs her pumps back.
- Apparently the space age/weird as hell look is the new black. Case in point- these heels.
- I hate ombre. I just do.
- Psst, Rachel Bilson, Bruce Springsteen called too. He wants his stone washed jean vest back. (ok, I think I've successfully run that joke into the ground).
But really, what do I know? This is coming from a girl who wears black yoga pants, a hoodie, turquoise chuck taylors & my hair in a greasy ponytail every damn day- it's like my pathetic mommy uniform, that I love only for it's supreme comfort while I wrangle a toddler & wash Zack's undies. Can I get an amen?
And honestly I'm glad that people feel free to express themselves through their attire, otherwise this would be a dull, vapid, unimaginative world. And we would be bored & wouldn't buy their magazines. (Wait a second, am I drinking the Kool Aid)? - also, does the punctuation go inside the parentheses or outside? I ain't so good at punkchooashun or grahammer neither.
So, write on, Rachel Bilson! (pun intended). Let's celebrate diversity! Even if it means looking like an 80's step aerobics instructor/robot hybrid on crack while exposing yo' white ass! Awesome! Go Fashion!