June 26, 2009

putting the fun in dysfunctional

Last night I had the pleasure of spending an evening with Jane, Caroline & Jane's sweet southern mama, Clara. We had dinner at Havana's- that little colorful Cuban place across from the Grove Arcade. I'd never been before & was pleasantly surprised. It was freaking delicious. I mean, who doesn't like mint juleps & margaritas & grilled pork with plantains & ceviche?

Then we sauntered over to Malaprop's for the David Sedaris reading. If you haven't heard of him before, be aware that this best selling author is beyond hysterical, poignant, wry, candid, bizarre, irreverent, dysfunctional & very openly gay- to say the least. He can easily sell out large venues but instead generously chooses to bring business to our local independent bookseller, Malaprops. Quite commendable.

We took our seats & the host of the evening announced that Michael Jackson had just died. There was a collective reaction from the small crowd like "what?!!" And the host said, "Seriously." The tall man next to me, dressed in a linen shirt, khakis, thick white tube socks, beige orthopedic shoes & a tribal looking tattoo on the top of his left arm looked irritated & said, "Seriously?!" And I said to him, "yeah, it's true... of a heart attack." And he replied with something like, "Yeah, I know, but I think he could've presented that news in a more respectful manner." I would've responded but I was too busy trying to place the face staring back at me. And then it dawned on me- this dude looks just like the Night Court judge guy! Jane (the endless source of useless information that she is) confirmed my suspicions & said that he lived in a purple house in Montford with a large polar bear & a suit of armor in the front yard. It was Harry Anderson in the flesh, y'all. How exciting, right?

Well, needless to say, David was just ridiculously hilarious. Even with a bout of laryngitis. He read some snippets of things he has written like a fake email that shockingly unravels itself & pages from his own personal diary & a story of him discussing "titty milk" over lunch with Phyllis Diller. It's just the kind of writing that is "not recommended for beach reading. Laughing so hard will cause everything to jiggle." It's great, if you're into that sort of thing, which I am. Most of the things I am prone to invest my time &/or energy into either a) make me laugh or b) make me feel visually stimulated. And he is both. Well, sort of.

Another reason he's da man is that he stays after readings & greets people & signs their books & maybe if you're lucky- will receive a small token of his appreciation like a band aid from Barcelona or a condom from Costco. We weren't so lucky I guess. BUT the interaction with him was a gift alone. Last time Jane & I came to see him (4 years ago), she had him sign my book, "To Robin, the slut"- just for funsies. When it was my turn, I reminded him of his lovely inscription & he began drawing & speaking slowly to me in a whisper, "But Robin... you.... are not..... a slut..... you.... are a..... beautiful..... enchantress......" I looked over. He had drawn a robin bird & a speech bubble out to the side. This is the point where I would tell you what he wrote but due to the PG-13/bordering on R rating on my own personal blog I shall refrain since the words are clearly NC17 & not everyone would appreciate me sharing. But if it is just killing you, I will gladly email you the picture of it. If you enjoy Sedaris, you will enjoy this.

here's a teaser- i blurred out the naughtiness


I'm going to write it in white below, so if you want to see it, just highlight it with your mouse.

"You let guys butt fuck you"


Mark Bolick said...

Have I told you before that I love you and Zack. You completely crack me up. I told Jo that your evening sounded like my perfect evening. She said I should marry you and Jane. Too funny.
Mark Bolick

Robin said...

LMAO!!!!! That was better than a secret decoder ring OR writing in lemon juice then almost burning your house down trying to singe the paper to read it!

Dave said...

Robin - it was so great to meet you and your "HAWT" friend at the LoveFest this weekend - I have cracked up people with the poster about "Shouldn't bang other people's mothers" multiple times and absolutely love your blog - I hope to see you and your "HAWT" Friend (her especially) again soon. :)



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